Being an “influencer,” everyone kind of expects you to fit into a certain mold. To be completely honest with you, I never felt like I belonged in the “influencer” world and to this day, I don’t even like to be called that. That’s another story for later...

Anyways, I started this self-portrait series during quarantine because I wanted to defy that mold, challenge myself as a creative, and to explore a different way of “self-love” and appreciation. It all started out because I was seeing SO many other bloggers, photographers, creators, etc. take self-portraits at home. I would look and see what they had at home to their disposal to create content, compare it to what I had (or lack thereof), and felt a cloud of self-doubt rise over me.

“Why am I not aesthetic enough?”

“They have so much stuff. Where the hell am I going to get all that stuff?”

“Their house looks so decorated. Why didn’t I care to decorate my apartment?”

“I’m not even that good of a photographer, am I?”

These are just a few of the thoughts that clouded my head when I first started to explore this creative project. Imposter syndrome is real. It sucks. And it really causes you to doubt yourself, your skills, and your ability to create even when you know you’re fully capable to come up with something just as magical and completely your own.

So I said to myself, “fuck it” (pardon my French). I was determined to prove to myself that I am just as creative. I am just as unique. I am ENOUGH.

Thus, my QUARANTINE SESSIONS: SELF-PORTRAIT series was born. If you want to see the full range of photos that I took almost every weekend while Austin was in shelter-in-place, click here. If you want to learn about what I learned from my experience, keep on reading. 

Here’s what I learned from my experience...

Taking self-portraits is challenging. It takes getting used to. But it’s not impossible. 

It’s not always easy to get in front of the camera, no matter who is behind it. I will admit to feeling like I wasn’t good enough the first weekend that I tried this. My first session only lasted about 30 minutes including set-up. I didn’t really know what I wanted to create at first either. I’m so used to being an object in the photos I take versus being the main subject, so this transition was really difficult for me. But after a few tries over the course of multiple weekends, I was starting to get used to seeing myself as the main focal point in a photo. 

*see also: How To Take Portraits Of Yourself, By Yourself

You don’t need the nicest things to create something that you’re proud of.

I literally only had my camera, an Amazon Basic tripod, a cheap ring light that I got a few years ago as a gift for food photography, and whatever clothes or random props that I had in my 1 bedroom apartment that looks like a broke college student lives in. Get creative. Don’t have a camera? Use your phone on self-timer. Don’t have a ring light? Play with the natural shadows in your home or try taking photos with the flash on. Opportunities are endless when you start to think outside of the box. Check out my gear here.

Editing is where the magic happens. TEST NEW STYLES!

I thought I hated the first photos that I took. Then I edited them. I transformed a photo into what I thought was trash, into something that I was so proud of. I started to test new styles in Lightroom too. I’m so used to editing bright, true-to-color content and this gave me the perfect opportunity to test new colors, moods, and tones.

It’s OKAY if you don’t feel creative.

Don’t force yourself to be creative. If you have an idea, act on it. But don’t force yourself into thinking you have to do something creative during quarantine just because everyone else is baking bread, learning new skills, or making whipped coffee. It’s OKAY.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Do this for YOU!

Social media can be a nasty place if all you’re going to do is compare yourself to what you see. It’s a wormhole waiting to trap you in your insecurities. Taking self-portraits was a way to give myself permission to feel vulnerable and to feel confident in navigating those insecurities. I wasn’t trying to please people. I did this for me.

“Aesthetics” are bullshit. Be bold. 

There’s nothing wrong with lacking a “mid-century modern design” or “boho chic” aesthetic in your home. You don’t have to fit into a mold or do something just because you know that a specific aesthetic is pleasing to the eye. Give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable and try something new.

I highly encourage everyone to take self-portraits.

It was an eye-opening creative experience, to say the least. It gave me the confidence to step out of my comfort zone of smiling and “candid” pictures. This probably won’t be the last series of self-portraits that I take...